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i.
She opened her eyes,
Searched for the sounds of
Information, creating a current of
Electricity through her body,
Eyes to brain and back.
She turns to you, and you read her mind,
Read it through her eyes,
Such a strange
Pale
Shade
Of

ii.
You glance up,
Escaping wrong conclusions/
Near electrocution.
Black specks in the distance/
Your eyes.
Lambs lack all stain (Zounds!)
But you know He was wounded,
He must have been,
And mental instability never beckoned so hard
And you fall, purpose or no,
And you lie on your back
And you live on your back
(And you die on your back).
All above you is the vast crushing emptiness of colour.
It makes a paste of your flesh
It makes a dust of your bones
It makes a delicacy of your eyes.

iii.
I open my eyes to every time but this.

iv.
The sun beats the uneven surface here
And shatters itself into fools' diamonds
That fall beneath the bottom of the earth.
You would not dare to follow them so far
(Though faith might whisper softly that you could)
But she would follow them forever just
To gain one bit of glory; gossips she
Will only get to know until she drowns.Yet to that thankless fate she'll still proceed-
Knowledge not what she wants, but what she needs.

v.
I close it; cover me up and keep me quiet (i will be invisible)

vi.
I write it; let me out and make me real (i must be seen)

vii.
Slide along her curves, and laugh;
She laughs too, in a last-ditch effort to remain young
But the laughter dissolves into hysteria and the tears come down her face as she laughs away, laughs herself into a madwoman, and you can do nothing until she stills suddenly
But it is too late by far,
She becomes an old woman before your eyes.
(You will pretend to ignore it but it is in your dreams)

viii.
Their faces fragments of a vibrant time,
They watch her living from their perches high.
She shores them up against her ruin nigh,
Forever they'll remain in solemn line.
Faster, faster her demise comes on.
She will not recognise it til she's gone.

ix.
You turn the tap
You let it in
You fill the bath
To kill your sin

Then gravity, your lonely friend,
Will have to leave. You float again.

You let it out
You warm yourself
You look devout
You feel like hell

In dryest heat, for all your days,
In memory
          the chill remains.

x.
They painted their house, way back in the old days, to keep the mosquitoes out, away. The tradition continued until screens and air-conditioning left it a pointless endeavour. Whitewash came into favour, cheap, easy, and fashionable, and that was it.
If they knew she would live there in three hundred and twelve years their pride at its maintenance would vanish as fast as they would come to wish the house had.

xi.
I sink my teeth into flesh, break the skin.
I wish I knew nothing.
It grates on my teeth.

xii.
Darkness
Turbulence
If this were her generator
You think you could understand, somehow
(water crashing electric eyes on you once again)
But it's here again, gone again, so
If this were her generator
She'd be long dead, you think.
Placid/calm her antithesis
Complete
Utter
If you could hear yourself think you'd think.
She'd tell you something now.
Dragged in, beat up, spit out,
Are you alive or not?
Chill upon you, you're shaking again
Just one more time

xiii.
Darkness
Calm
Endless points in the distance.
(If only I were so distant)
Cold light.
(If only I could be so cold as you are now and forever)
More than ever you feel your regret.
It does not bother to lie in wait anymore.
You know no longer of her
(If only I had never known her)
Then a
Split                                                                                                                                                 Second
And in that one short time you know everything,
All the dismal semi-truths that I have known,
But then you shake into the last
Dark
Shade
Of
Pretentiousness is so easy when you're unhappy.
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April 8, 2013
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